Maycember

Getting this week’s writing out has been tough! I’m feeling the full effects of “Maycember,” where the whole month is booked back-to-back like December is – except instead of cozy Christmas music, we’re looking at the dawn of summer vacation. Which, to be honest, is hard on me. My kids will be home all day without the structure that comes with school and that means I’ve been gifted an unskilled workforce for the next 3 months and I can’t fire anybody…

So, instead of some nice metaphor or learning insight, I’m owning the fact that I can feel the stress pressure building this week. I’m currently affectively forecasting (aka predicting how this summer is going to make me feel) and it’s making me hesitant to jump in full force. However, if there’s anything that I’ve learned in this last year, I hope it is this. First, I’m noticing and naming how I’m feeling.

Here’s what I’m feeling: I’m worried about repeating last summer. Last summer is when my burnout really settled in for the long haul. Basically, I don’t want that to repeat. It was scary for me and I did not like feeling that way.

Now that I’ve voiced this feeling, I can challenge it (if needs challenging.)

For instance, I can challenge the inevitability of repeating last year by acknowledging that I have gained a lot of experience and grown a lot in the last year. It would be unfair to myself to discount that learning. In this process, I don’t want to move to denial – I’m sure there’s still going to be plenty of things that are hard on me—but will try to keep both the positive and negative potential outcomes in balance.

Also, I’ve learned to notice when I feel myself pushing, or rushing against a clock. Most of the deadlines I push against are deadlines I set up. So, for instance, as I was beginning to stress about how my blog was late this week, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it’s ok if I’m a day late. The only person watching this deadline is me! I also reminded myself that posting something – as rough or short as it may be, would be better for my own psyche than waiting until I could pull something polished together.

As a recovering overachiever, I’m going to pat myself on the back for allowing “just enough” to be ok today.

Thanks for reading. May the force be with you during these last few days of Maycember.