Thank you, Mama E - a Gratitude Letter
Last week, I wrote about active gratitude practices and because I don’t like to give a challenge that I’m not willing to do myself, my family and I wrote gratitude letters this week. Normally, I like to select a person that I can send the letter to as the process of writing helps me remember the wonderful people in my world and gives them an opportunity to feel that love. This time, however, I was overwhelmed with the impression that I wanted to write to my mom. This is only our second Thanksgiving without her, and I miss her dearly. I find that writing thank you to her is a great way to keep her memory alive within myself.
The following is my letter to my mom. It’s more personal and vulnerable than I often share, but since I cannot share it directly with her, I felt it was worth sharing with you. Thank you for spending some time with me during this traditional Thanksgiving time. I’m grateful you’ve been here and hope you find some time to say thank you to those you love as well.
Dear Mom,
Thank you for teaching me to be proud of my unique talents and gifts. You were always my champion. You’ve been willing to listen to and advocate for my needs when others would have put me down or told me that I needed to “just deal with it.” Recently, I’ve heard a lot of stories from others who have been afraid to be themselves because of things that parents or leaders have said to them. My heart aches for those people because my momma was always telling me, with all the authenticity in her heart, that I was so smart and so cool. Thank you for listening to my ideas, insights, and weird facts and then being delighted by them. There is so much I’m learning right now that I wish I could tell you about just so I could see your reaction. You would think it’s so cool. You were the very definition of social support, and you’ve made me proud of my brain and body.
You’ve taught me to lead with love when I meet others. You let love be the reason you got to know and serve someone else, and I’ve been trying to emulate that. Using love, I’ve been able to see the uniqueness and gifts of others and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude by the mere fact that I get to witness greatness within them. By how you lived, you showed me how to overcome social anxiety and have shown me how powerful it can be to share or act upon our generous thoughts instead of suppressing them. When I wonder if I should reach out to someone or offer assistance, I think about what you would do and use that to inspire my action.
I miss your uncanny ability to notice when something was off. I didn’t realize how regularly you supported me because you could just tell I needed it. I’ve had to learn how to be better at opening up and asking for help on my own. I’ve learned that speaking up about hard things is scary when you don’t know if you have a good listener on the other end. Thank you for noticing when I was off and then gently coaxing me to share my burdens with you. I’m trying to be more like that for others. I’m getting better at asking questions and keeping the space safe for others. I have a long way to go still, but I can feel myself getting better at active listening every time I try it.
Finally, thank you for teaching me how to be strong. We’re dealing with something right now that would fiercely bring out your momma bear and although the experience is uncomfortable, I can feel your strength within me. Although I don’t want to have to fight the battle in front of me, I know that I have the ability to because of you. I can hear you cheering me on each time I find more of the information I need to drive home a win for the little guy. Sometimes people underestimate me, and you taught me how to use that to my advantage. Thank you for showing me how to be fierce.
I miss you. We all do. I miss your laugh. I miss your playfulness. I miss your randomness. I miss your protectiveness. I especially miss how you made sure others were not left out – may we all learn how to be better includers because of you. Love you. Till we meet again.
Your “little sage,”
Erika
If you want to see a snippet of a letter she wrote to her own parents, follow this link:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsLl2Knsxfv/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==