Falling Up
I know some really cool people. Some of these folks I’ve developed relationships with through professional opportunities, conferences, and my education. Others have been gifted to me by proximity, such as neighbors, or in the case I’m thinking of today, have been dear family friends that I’ve inherited from my parents and sisters. Yesterday, I went to lunch with one such family friend, Meg Wheatley.
Margaret J. Wheatley is a world-renowned author, top tier consultant, and legendary thought leader in the organizational behavior space. She’s known for her work in leadership, change management, and being a warrior for the human spirit. She’s also, as my 10-year-old self described, a glamorous woman who dresses well, travels the world, and helps people. That description is what I told my mom after she had asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I told her I wanted to be like Meg.
I recently read Meg’s book Perseverance and her words gave me ways to describe much of my experience with burnout. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out the behaviors and thought patterns that lead me to burnout last summer. From her book, I learned that over eagerness, a buy-in to constant urgency, and placing destination over direction have been my Achilles heel.
However, in talking with her yesterday, I had a moment when I said, “The last couple of years have certainly beat me up.” She gently chided me and told me that in the adversity, I was being given gifts and knowledge that I could not get any other way.
She then told me a story about a conversation she had with my mother shortly after my mom’s cancer diagnosis. She said she was trying to get my mom to open up about her experience in the hospital after brain surgery. Meg said that in her line of questioning she had tried to use the phrase “falling down,” but my mom stopped her and said, “No. Not falling down. Falling up.”
For the next year, my mom taught my family how to fall up. How to use this excruciating experience to bring us closer to each other and closer to God. She genuinely told people during the last year of her life that she had never been happier and that it was a year of “bliss.” It was an achingly beautiful experience for all of us.
Meg has encouraged me to see my burnout journey as “falling up” and to begin looking for the gifts I have received in the last year. I have been journaling them and may list them as a separate post later, but I have surprised myself at how many gifts of learning I have found from the last year. It’s far easier to remember the acute poor experiences and they often demand my attention, however, as I’ve begun the process of listing out gifts, I am seeing the beauty in the struggle from the last year. For instance, I’m especially grateful for the spiritual wellness practices I have put into place and how my relationship with God has deepened. As I continue journaling, I’ve realized that finding these gifts have not diminished or invalidated the hard things I’ve been through but have shown me that the good has quietly walked along side those moments as well. For the first time in a while, I’m finally changing my perception of this time of my life from a “holding period” while I wait for the next thing to a “growing period” while I create the next thing. Perhaps the next thing is actually happening now. Perhaps, one of my greatest gifts may be a better understanding of myself and how I can contribute my unique gifts and experiences to benefit others.
Thanks for reading with me today. I hope you take the opportunity to find the gifts in your journey so that you may also “fall up.”