My Stress-Busting Routine
This coming week holds the potential for some pretty acute stress in my world. I’ve filled a whiteboard with a list of to-dos that I need to accomplish this week, and it feels daunting.
In the past, I would have decided that these to-dos take all precedence and that everything else should come second. I would immediately narrow my focus on the things that need to be achieved and would begin to cut out to make space for the heavy workload. Unfortunately, the things I would cut out were often things that are important for my health and sustainability. This narrowing of focus was the biggest contributing factor to my burnout. In an attempt to “make things easier” on myself, I was robbing myself of the natural resources that I need to be able to perform my best.
Now, as I look at all my tasks, I also remember to take myself into account. Instead of cutting things out that rejuvenate me, I double down on my health practices because these are crucial to battling the oncoming stress and performing my best. I think of these daily disciplines as a way of making deposits into my own personal resource bank so that my body will be able to perform at its optimal best.
Here’s my plan for the week (using science and stories from my many well-being focused classes at Harvard):
1. Get Physiology on My Side
In the past, I’d too often turn to the shortsighted comfort and pleasure of food or stopping my regular workouts. I’d justify this by saying that I was building joy into my day and that I was letting myself take a break. However, what I was actually doing was making things harder for my body by taking away valuable resources that it needed to combat the new stressors that were coming my way.
What I’m doing this time around is getting physiology on my side. I want my body working for me at every turn (not trying to make up for my neglect). So, instead of a candy bar when doing some homework, I reached for a banana. The extra hit of magnesium gave me a better boost in fighting the brain fog. I’m allowing myself to count simple healthy meals as dinner this week. This isn’t the week to try massive new recipes. It’s also ok if my meal is a healthy version of a lunchable. Chomping on cucumbers and carrots can be surprisingly filling! I’m also not skipping my workouts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying for any personal records this week, instead, I’m using healthy movement to help flush out the extra cortisol in my system and to give me the chance to breathe, reconnect with my whole self, and start my work with intention. Lastly, I’m not skimping on my sleep. If anything, I’ve added a little more in by planning 30 min naps before 3pm as a chance to recharge my brain and my body.
2. Ground my Heart
When your head is spinning with to-dos, holding still and breathing for a few mins can sound like torture. Why would I waste time by holding still?! However, I’ve learned that a short 7 min meditation practice or a 20 min yoga session can be the perfect thing for helping my brain clear out the chaos and focus on how to do my tasks well. I also take 15-20 mins each morning to double down on my religious practices. It can be really easy to forget to take the time to read scriptures or pray, but I finally admitted to myself that when the world is demanding more from me that is not the time to cut God out. I need His help! A deeper connection to my spirituality has been one of the things I’m most grateful for in my burnout journey and now I see stressful times as a chance to lean on a loving God who shapes me into a better person through these moments. Whatever your faith journey is, I hope you find time to connect with something bigger than yourself when you’re facing acute stress.
3. Work at a Natural Pace
Past Erika used the adrenaline of the deadline to help push her past her natural pace in an effort to achieve the extreme. Current Erika doesn’t have that capacity anymore (it’s one of lasting side-effects of my burnout). Now, when I look at the tasks on my list, I take my initial estimate for how long I think it’s going to take and multiply it by 3. Not just double it. I triple it. I took this tip from Cal Newport’s book, Slow Productivity. I’m allowing myself to take 3xs longer to get the things done for a few reasons. One, I’m better at prioritizing what actually needs to happen this week. This helps me eliminate extras (such as planning an epic St. Patrick’s day party – yeah, it doesn’t need to happen) or reset my output expectations to more realistic levels (Do we really need to make sure everything in this is 100% perfect?). Two, it allows time for the unexpected things to crop up – including if I hit a mental or physical wall during a task. Now, instead of stressing when something goes unexpectedly, I’m able to tackle the detour with a calm confidence. Also, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve often found that this estimate is far more accurate than my initial one.
4. Make Space for Time Outs
In the past, I would have pushed from one thing to the next without hardly taking a moment to breathe between tasks. I would hunker down at my desk and lock myself in my room until I had finished everything on my list. I often would even take pride in how many things I could accomplish in a short time. However, I would also be so exhausted by the end of the day that I couldn’t answer my 5-year old’s simple questions. Now, I plan the day with time-outs built in. One, I know that if I want to be able to put forth the best work that I am capable of, then pushing through when I’m in cognitive overload is counterproductive. Literally, your brain is working poorer in that scenario because it’s battling a cortisol flood. Now, I give myself mile markers in my tasks and then I do a small time out (I shoot for a 5-min time out every hour). Some of my time outs are things like going for a walk around the block. Others are engaging in something creative, such as dancing, singing, or just listening to a favorite song. Instead of treating myself like a work horse, I choose to nourish my brain so that it can give its best effort during my focused times.
5. Reach out to Social Support
Past Erika would have seen weeks like this as a time to cut out all social time. People were a distraction from getting things done. Past Erika would also feed her false belief that she needed to go after all these tasks on her own. It’s a matter of pride and independence! Often, this would lead to resentment on my part. How dare other people be having fun and relaxing when I’m here working hard and stressing out?!
Now Erika is realizing that one of her biggest assets is the people who love her and support her. This week, I’ve communicated clearly to my husband about the mountain of work I’m looking at and we’ve brainstormed ways that we can help each other with home tasks and with the emotional toll it’s going to take on us. I’ve also built in short times to reach out to people I love as one of my time outs and as a chance to recharge my batteries. I also know that if I hit a wall later this week, there are people I can call upon to help lift me over that wall.
It can be incredibly helpful to remind ourselves that moments of acute stress don’t last. They do have an ending. This means that I’ve also planned a big break for once I get through the events coming my way. Instead of jumping right into whatever gigantic goal I have lined up for myself after this, I’m planning to give myself time and permission to be unproductive for a couple of days. Giving myself permission to play or rest helps me to come back to the table ready to tackle all the new things headed my way. This is a much more sustainable way of being productive and leaning into achievement.
Thanks for reading with me today. I hope you can do some healthy behaviors that will boost your resilience to any stress you have coming this week.